dealing with the pain of losing isnt easy. losing can happen in so many ways. but usually, the most painful loss happens when it relates to the loss of a person. a person who is very dear to our heart. family. friends. lover.
recently, ive heard too many great lost that happened to my friends, and even to myself either. mcm2 reaksi, mcm2 cara mereka menenangkan diri, but one word to describe them, they are really strong!
last two months, my friend, who is in the same batch as mine, lost his father. all in a sudden. without she expecting it, since her father didnt suffer from any kind of illnesses. not bed ridden, in fact, was coming over here to spend time with her during the xmas holiday. they were so happy together, enjoying every single moment to the max, they even went to Jogjakarta, which is about 8 hours from Jakarta, but everything was fine along the journey.
not until one day, they planned to go to Tanah Abang, the fav place to shop here in our place. her father complaint that he felt a lil bit difficult to breathe. and suddenly fell down and went unconcious then, at the mosque. everyone was panic, but luckily, people who are there are very kind enough to help and brought the late uncle to the nearest hospital. as soon as they reached hospital, uncle's death was verified. he was no longer breathing.
i was in malaysia during that time and the moment i heard about it, my heart thumped hard. i even pull my car to the side of the road and stop. ya Allah. why so soon? how is my friend handling this? but looking at the bright side of it, her father died when he is with her. the only daughter in the family. her mother was beyond sad, she went all clueless and shocked. my housemates who stayed back during the holiday came and accompanied her, and they did say, aunty looked so sad and she kept on saying about uncle's wishes and their memories of being together.
my eyes got watery at that time, too many things suddenly rush into my head, thinking about their condition. but Alhamdullilah, Allah has granted such a big strength to my friend, she was able to handle all the procedures calmly, and Allah eases everything. as soon as i came back from my holiday, my friend did Kenduri Doa Selamat for her father and she invited us. such a great relief to see her, smiling like normal, tho yea, who knows, what did she feel deep insidekan? but im very sure, she knew herself, regardless what had happened, she has to be strong, especially for the sake of aunty. and i believe Allah tested this to her family and to her personally, because Allah knows best that, despite all the sadness and the pain of losing their beloved father, they are still able to cope with it, as Allah had said in the Quran, "verily with hardships, there is relief".
next, the incident that happens on the last two days. about my senior, a girl, who had lost his boyfriend. and happened to be, his boyfriend is my senior too here in Jakarta. her boyfriend died of cancer. the cancer was first detected last May if im not mistaken and at that time, sudah stage ketiga. dah ade pleural diffusion. since then, abang P had to postpone his studies and he went back to Malaysia for treatment. been warded for chemo, for about 7 months and last two days, i received the news that Abg P is no longer with us, Allah lebih sayangkan dia.
kak W, for all this while, has being very positive about abg P, regardless what people say, shes been hoping and praying that his boyfriend will be fine one day. she doesnt give up hope and i know she did that, must be first, for abg P, for a person who is suffering from cancer, all u need is to give such a massive moral support and channels all your positivity to the patient, it does help in increasing the lifetime of the patient. and secondly of course, for herself. someone you love, someone you've been planning everything with him in the future, who wudnt want that to happen kan? and again Allah showed me another one strong person, in handling the loss of a person who is very dear to her heart, she looks very calm, even when people asked about it to her in her facebook.
dear kak W, Allah lebih sayangkan dia. dan ketahuilah, kasih sayang akak untuk dia, dia bawak sampai ke akhir usia dia. bila fikirkan tentang ni, yana jadi sebak, sucinya cinta akak, sampailah maut yang memisahkan akak and dia, and i hope one day, ull be able to find another guy, as good as Abg P insya Allah. be strong kak.
arent the tests that both of them got, are something that u have never come to think, what if it happens to you? ajal maut semua di tangan Tuhan, kita takde kuasa untuk menghalangnya. setiap yang hidup, pasti akan mati. the only thing that i wish is, if one day all these things are happening to me, i would be able to face it with a great inner strength, just like them. amin.
i was in the stage of dealing with the pain of losing too, but maybe it isnt as bad as theirs. and maybe what ive been going thru now is the feelings that most of us has gone thru too. or maybe, u are in the same phase like mine. i dont think im good enough to advise in this matter, but maybe i could share something. if u think u have done your best, and nothing gets any better, left it all to Allah, the owner of every heart. keep on praying, with a strong faith that Allah will hear you and granted your wish.
"kadang-kadang Allah tarik sesuatu dari kita, bukan sbb kerana Dia tidak menyayangi kita,
tapi kerana Allah rindu akan kita. rindu dgn tangisan kita untukNya, rindu kebergantungan kita sebagai hambaNya kepadaNya =)"
janganlah membenci, mendoakan yang buruk. never let urself drowned in hatred. dun hate. dun let negativity conquers u, ull never find peace. but slowly nurture ur heart to accept, to redha. never set a revenge, just please. no matter in what situation. if u feel so much pain inside, Allah is there to hear you, to be with you =)
"segala-galanya dalam Dunia, semua adalah pinjaman Allah. dan Allah berhak mengambilnya pada bila-bila masa. sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Mengetahui"
doakan yang baik-baik, insya Allah yang baik-baik kita akan dapat. sedih, kecewa, carilah Dia. Rindu pada yang pergi? takpe, rindu tuh anugerah Allah. macam dalam lagu Hijjaz "insan yang berhati nurani punyai rasa rindu" hee. sampaikanlah rindu itu pada Allah, dan bertenanglah selepas itu.
everybody has their own story, their own way coping with the sadness of losing something. but always remember, to every pain, sadness, tears, loneliness, return to Him, ketahuilah, hanya dengan mengingati Allah, hati akan menjadi tenang =)
take care people. much love.