ive been trying very hard to control my emotions today. im not very sure whats wrong with me, but the moment i opened up my eyes this morning, they went watery. thats weird.
so cuddle up with the bolster for quite some time before forcing myself to wake up and do some tidy-ing. took my bath. while thinking why on earth i woke up with this gloomy feelings. i dun have any bad dream last nite. weird.
so the next thing i do, get dressed and felt like putting on the face mask. my skin complexion is getting worse lately. and im not very sure what is the reason then. stress perhaps. the last time i put a face mask on, was errr, a year back? hoho. so not perempuan. no wonder lah your skin is like that liyana.
took the laundry from the laundry basket, and throw it on my bed. with hopes seeing them messing the bed will drive me to fold them quickly. but no. im not in the mood to fold the clothes yet. glued my butt to the study area. and of course lah not to study kan. browsing thru my favourite websites, all the DIY-s websites. tak faham kenapa hari2 nak bukak website wedding decorations and get some ideas. im not getting married any soon pun. heh.
mood changed? nah. still gloomy.
okay, laying on the bed and mcm biasa termenung. think of nothing but took me sometime before i actually forced myself to fold the clothes. okay done. and back termenung. hish, tak boleh jadi ni. this type of feelings cant be entertain or else ull get carried away.
lets do some crafts! wanna do the pompom flowers, but too bad, it needs at least 8 sheets of crepe papers, but i only have one. okay cancel the plan. take an A4 paper and start drawing. i draw a big heart. and stared at it for about erm, 10 minutes.
then i just let the fingers draw whatever they wanna draw. and u know it turns out to be what?
yes this. not a tribal design or what, okay. and then i felt my cheeks mcm panas2. whatever lah. and puppp, in 3 seconds my eyes went watery and a teardrop fell on the heart ive drew. damn. distractions failed. and i know the heart feels miserable now.
i wanted to share, but i dunno how to start. but the only thing that i have now is FAITH.
dear love trapped in the centre of the heart, im so sorry, ure surrounded by all the messes that ive been trying to demolish it slowly. astaghfirullah.
sorry for being a jerk. really.